Hiei Learns Latin
by Han Ji Eun
Summary: Slight YYHRurouni Kenshin cross-over.What happens when Kurama sends Hiei to learn Latin? And what happens when someone gives him some candy? And what is a drunk Sano doing with a drunk chibi Saito? Interested? It's COMPLETE! RXR!
1. Veni Vidi Vici Latin School

Hiei Learns Latin!  
  
A/N: What happens when Kurama decides to enroll Hiei in Latin classes? Why is a drunk Sano running around the school and with a drunk chibi Saito getting mad at a vending machine? Who is the Staphie? Read and find out.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own YYH or Rurouni Kenshin and-  
  
Hiei: It should stay that way,  
  
Me: You are so mean!  
  
Hiei: hehehe  
  
Me: Stop laughing! And before this story begins, I would like to tell you something Hiei.  
  
Hiei: What? Bring it on ningen!  
  
Me: Semper ubi sub ubi. (Always where under where-wrong grammar I know)  
  
Hiei: .....  
  
Me: Not so smart are you?  
  
Fangirls: You best not be dissin' our Hiei!  
  
Me: You all share Hiei?  
  
Fangirl #1: No way! He is mine!!!  
  
Fangirl#2: I hate you! Get away!  
  
Ruronimurasaki: This is wackier than the Prince Yuki Fan Club. Enjoy.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Chapter 1: Veni, Vedi Vici Latin School  
  
"Oh Hiei!!!!!!!!! Hiei!!!! HIIIEEEEIIIII!!!!!!" shouted Kurama looking for his little friend around their house.  
  
"What do you want Kurama?" asked Hiei coming through the window.  
  
"I have a surprise for you."  
  
"What is it?" asked Hiei reading the paper that Kurama handed him.  
  
"So, you have to get ready."  
  
"No way in Disney World are you making me go to this."  
  
"But it is good for you."  
  
"Why in all that is good and mighty would I want to learn Latin?"  
  
"If you go, I'll make sure that you will have sweet sugar whenever you want."  
  
~Zoom in on Hiei~  
  
"This is total insanity. Kurama has lost it all and the Apocalypse is coming. But on the other hand, if the Apocalypse is coming, I'd want to have my sweet snow. Maybe this could be profitable."  
  
~Zoom out~  
  
"Fine, I'll go to your ningen school."  
  
"Yay! Now (pushing him out the door) go to Latin school!" squealed Kurama.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~**~**~*~~  
  
Hiei walked slowly into the quiet classroom. He was early.  
  
"Why did he push me out of the door this early?"  
  
There was one other person in the room. It was a girl with braided hair and reading a copy of The Tempest by William Shakespeare. (A/N: Oh joy....... ^~^)  
  
"Oh hello, you must be new," she said cordially (intelligent word, isn't it? I'm not intelligent at all.), "would you like some dulcia? (She gives him some sweets) It is not poison, their candies."  
  
"Candy ....... Did you say ca-ca-ca-candy?" Hiei took the candy, slowly unwrapped it and put it in his mouth. He was in bliss and ate more candy. Before long, he had finished all of the girl's candy. Oh yes, the girl's name was Staphie.  
  
The whole expected class filed in and the teacher came in. She was a tall woman with short dirty blonde hair.  
  
"Salvete! Hello all! My name is Miss Panis. (A/N: Can anyone guess what 'panis' means?)" said Miss Panis a little bit too hyper, " we have a new student, Mr. Jaganashi Hiei."  
  
"Who said it?" said Hiei perking up.  
  
"Said what?" asked Miss Panis.  
  
"My name."  
  
"Oh....me."  
  
"My name is not Jaganashi Hiei! It is Prospero!"  
  
"You like Shakespeare?" Miss Panis said perking up.  
  
"Who is Shakespeare? Is he a muffin?"  
  
"A muffin?"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Fangirl#1: How come you're so mean to Hiei.  
  
Me: So you survived the mess?  
  
Hiei: (sugar high) I like muffins that I do!  
  
Fangirl#1: Yes I did!  
  
Fangirl#2: Hey! You are not out of it yet. (pulls her into the great mudpile of doom)  
  
Sano (drunk): Hey.... Where am I?  
  
Me: Hey Sano, you are not supposed to be here until later.  
  
Sano: Okkkeee Doookkeeeyy! (wanders out of the room)  
  
Me: Anyway, I know it is boring right now, but I think, and hope it will become funnier. More randomness to come. By the way, thank you to my Latin teachers who provide some of the words, phrases, and yes, songs in this story. I do not own Latin, and if I did I would probably become part of a hit list created by students around the globe. Thanks for reading and please review!  
  
Translations: Dulcia-sweets Panis- bread Veni vidi vici- "I came, I saw, I conquered." -Famous line of Caesar. 


	2. Do you know the Muffin Man?

Hiei Learns Latin  
  
Me: Hey! Welcome back to "Hiei Learns Latin!" I would like you to meet Kyo Sohma!  
  
Kyo: What the heck am I doing here?!  
  
Me (hugging him): Because I commanded you to come here from the Bunny Kingdom (Which I am the queen of) and you are here! YYAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!  
  
Kyo: But wait! How come I am not turning into a cat?!  
  
Me: Because I am a member of the Adu lineage and thus that makes it possible to hug the members of the Zodiac plus the cat.  
  
Kyo: this is insane...  
  
Me: I know isn't it great?! Now for the disclaimer. I don't own YYH, Rurouni Kenshin, other famous quotes and songs, and Shakespeare. Oh yea, I do not own Latin. I DO own my Bunny Kingdom, the Adu lineage and other things that do not pertain to anything intelligent. Now where are those wacked out lovey-dovey psychos? Anyway, Hiei is still hyper so it will just be me and Kyo (I LOVE YOU KYO!!!!!) for the time being. Enjoy!  
  
Chapter 2: Do You Know the Muffin Man?  
  
"A muffin? I don't understand.. anyway it is time to start class. Before we start, does anyone have any questions?" said Miss Panis in a psychotically sweet way.  
  
Hiei jumped up waving his hand, "I do.... Miss Pa-pa-pee-pee!! MISS PAPAPEEPEE I HAVE A QUESTION!!" The class and as well as half the school erupted in laughter  
  
"WHAT THE HECK!? I AM NOT PEE PEE!!!!" shouted Miss Panis trying to gain her composure, "ANYWAY, what is your question JaganashiHieiProspero?"  
  
"That's not my name!"  
  
"What...is...it..?" the teacher said exasperated.  
  
"KIKI THE DELIVERY GIRL!" (A/N: I'm not making fun of Miyazaki's film. If you do not know Miyazaki or his greatness, I suggest that you lock yourself in your house and pick up a copy of Princess Mononoke!) shouted Hiei flapping his arms trying to fly.  
  
"OK! EVERYONE TACITE!" shouted the teacher looking like a bull that you see in those cartoons who has steam coming out of her nose. "NOW WHAT IS YOUR QUESTION?!?!?!?!?!?!"  
  
"I forget...."  
  
"AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! ANYWAY DOES ANYONE ELSE HAVE ANYMORE QUESTIONS?!?!"  
  
"Miss Panis," started Staphie politely, "what is the Latin word for feathers?"  
  
"Pennas, Miss Staphie."  
  
"Hehehe..."  
  
"What's so funny Mr. Whatever your name is?"  
  
"Pennas... hahahaha!"  
  
"It is not!"  
  
"Yes it is. Do you know what it sounds like?"  
  
"Be quiet!"  
  
"I now remember my question."  
  
"What..is..it?"  
  
"Do you know the muffin man?"  
  
"The muffin man?"  
  
"The muffin man."  
  
"Who lives on Druewry Lane?"  
  
"Yep!"  
  
"Shut it!"  
  
"Ooooohh you say a bad word!"  
  
"I DID NOT!"  
  
Hiei then took this a cue to jump onto his desk and sing and dance on it. "You say bad word and you must pay!  
  
'DO YOU KNOW THE MUFFIN MAN? THE MUFFIN MAN THE MUFFIN MAN DO YOU KNOW THE MUFFIN MAN WHO LIVES ON DRUEWRY LANE!?!!'"  
  
"NOW I INSIST THAT YOU SIT DOWN!"  
  
"It appears that he is sugar high at this point," said Staphie analytically.  
  
"SO WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!" screamed the teacher about to strangle Hiei.  
  
"Let it run its course," said Staphie, "he only did have the two or three pieces that I gave him."  
  
"WHY WOULD YOU GIVE HIM CANDY?!"  
  
"How was I supposed to know this would happen?" asked Staphie  
  
"WHAT IF HE WAS NOT ALLOWED TO EAT SUGARY THINGS?!?!"  
  
"I did not know," shot back Staphie.  
  
"THINK NEXT TIME YOU BEEEEEEEEEEPPPP!!!!!"  
  
"HEY! DON'T YOU DARE CALL HER THAT!!!! NOW YOU MUST FEEL THE WRATH OF THE BATTOUSAI!!!!" Hiei lunged at her.........  
  
Kyo: What is going to happen to the teacher?  
  
Me: You'll see soon enough.  
  
Kyo: TELLL MEEE!!!!  
  
Me: Oh no! Hiei is coming!  
  
Hiei: I AM NOT KIKI THE DELIVERY GIRL!!!  
  
Me: Oh, so you are back to normal?  
  
Hiei (reverting back Kiki): C'mon Jiji, we must go to Laputa to see Ashitaka (A/N: this is totally incorrect).  
  
Me: Kyo! Come save me!  
  
Kyo: Never!  
  
Me: Then you know what?! You're out of her (kicks him out of the fanfic, for now). Me: I will have a new co-host by next chapter. In addition, I do not own Kiki or other Miyazaki movies and I do not own Fruits Basket. 


	3. To Kill or Not to Kill, that is the ques...

Hiei Learns Latin  
  
Me: Welcome back to my fanfiction! Kyo has been cast off and will –ow!—Hiei! Why did you just hit me?! After I saved you from those fan girls?!  
  
Hiei: I cut them up with my katana.  
  
Me: What the heck?!  
  
Hiei: Yes, that I did.  
  
Me: Man, that was a good move.  
  
Hiei: Yes. Acknowledge my greatness.  
  
Sano (randomly popping up): Hey what up my peeps!?  
  
Me and Hiei: Why the heck are you here?!  
  
Me: You're still too early!  
  
Sano (still drunk): Awww man. Anyway (picking up Hiei) I guess I should take this away. (he walks away) lalalalalala!  
  
Me: Oookkkaaay. Anyway, you know the disclaimer. Now where is my new co- host?  
  
Chapter 3: To kill or not to kill, that is the question  
  
"HEY! DON'T YOU DARE CALL HER THAT, NOW YOU WILL FEEL THE WRATH OF THE BATTOUSAI!!!" Hiei lunged at her....  
  
.....but then he suddenly stopped. He smiled a sinister smile and fell onto the floor on his head.  
  
"Is he alive?" asked a random student walking over to him and waved a book over his face. It was Romeo and Juliet. Hiei's eyes opened and saw the book. Then he jumped onto the desk.  
  
" 'Oh Romeo, Romeo, Where art thou thy Romeo?'" (1)  
  
"Oh no, here we go again," said Staphie hiding under her desk.  
  
"GET INTO YOUR SEAT!" shouted the teacher. " 'Yea, a noise, then I'll be brief (grabbing Stapie's pen), oh happy dagger! This is thy sheath; there rust and let me die! (He falls onto the ground again)'" (2)  
  
"WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING MISTER?!?!" shouted the teacher.  
  
"I'm a man?"  
  
"YES YOU ARE!"  
  
"I thought I was Juliet?"  
  
"YOU ARE NOT!"  
  
" 'HANG OFF, THOU CAT, THOU BURR!'" (3)  
  
"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME YOU YOU.."  
  
"PETER PETER PUMPKIN EATER?"  
  
"YES, I MEAN NO! GET UP RIGHT NOW!"  
  
"PENNAS IS A FUNNY LATIN WORD. SO IS THE LATIN WORD FOR SIX!"  
  
"DO YOU KNOW THE LATIN WORD FOR SIX?"  
  
"UH-HUH IT'S.."  
  
"NO! THIS IS A PG-RATED FANFIC!"  
  
"IT ISN'T THAT BAD! IT'S A NORMAL THING OF LIFE!"  
  
"YOU ARE A MONSTER!!"  
  
" 'YES, MONSTER, I DO SMELL ALL HORSE PISS. AT WHICH MY NOSE IS IN GREAT INDIGNATION!'" (4)  
  
"I AM NO MONSTER!"  
  
"Then why are you yelling?"  
  
"I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR SMART ASS ANSWERS!"  
  
"YOU SAID ANOT---  
  
Hiei was cut short because of fainting and fell asleep. The teacher was so relived and put him back in his seat. She then continued with her class. However, when they studied learning some new verbs, a particular one sparked his interest.  
  
"Interficio. Interficere- kill" said the teacher starting to write the word on the board, "interficiere is the second principle part and it means 'to kill.'"  
  
"Kill...kill..kill..."  
  
"What is that JaganashiHieiProsperoKikitheDeliveryGirlJuliet?" asked the teacher.  
  
"Kill...kill..kill.."  
  
"You said what?"  
  
Hiei, energized, sat up and thought for a second. Then he said, "Interficere, aut non interficere. That is the question."  
  
"No Hiei, not again..." said the teacher fearing Hiei about to rant and rage.  
  
"To kill or not to kill that is the question...." Said Hiei rising out of his seat, "Did you ever see a blue moth butterfly that is a dog? Do you know that bats have wings? Do you know why am I singing this pointless songggggg???? Mom I'm a big kid now!!"  
  
Everyone sweat dropped.  
  
But do you think this was the end of the insanity? Read on my dominions! Charge Zorgon and claim sweet victory!  
  
Me: What did you think of that?  
  
Hatsuharu: Odd.  
  
Me: Oh did I forget to mention my new co-host? It's Hatsuharu Sohma! You're going to keep Hiei away from me, right?  
  
Haru: I will only protect Yuki.  
  
Me (sweatdropping): .......  
  
Haru (leaving): I'm going, bye!  
  
Me: You know what? Leave! But remember: semper ubi sub ubi! I guess he was a bad co-host. Maybe Yusuke would like to be my co-host... OH YUUSSSUUUKE!!!!  
  
Shakespeare quotes: (1)-Juliet/Romeo and Juliet: Act 2:2  
  
(2)-Juliet/Romeo and Juliet: Act 5:3  
  
(3)-Lysander/A Midsummer's Night Dream: Act 3:2  
  
(4)-Trinculo/The Tempest: Act: 4:1  
  
Latin translations: Pennas- feathers Six (in case you haven't figured out)- sex *I might be wrong when it comes to the second principle part of interficio. 


	4. O Where O Where Is Drunk Sano Here?

Hiei Learns Latin  
  
Me: HIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!! I have a new co-host Yusuke Urameshi!  
  
Yusuke: Help.  
  
Me: Shut it! You are my co-host for this chapter and that is the end of it!  
  
Yusuke: You are worse than Keiko.  
  
Me: Do I smack you as hard as Keiko?  
  
Yusuke: You've never smacked me.  
  
Me: You want to start something??  
  
Yusuke: No.  
  
Me: Okay, then stay quiet my dominion.  
  
Yusuke: .....  
  
Me (patting him on the head): Good little Reikai Tantei. You are so cute! Maybe, since you're here, I should keep you all to myself.  
  
Yusuke: KEIKO!!!  
  
Me: In here, no one can hear you scream.  
  
Yusuke: help.  
  
Me: You already know what the disclaimer is so just enjoy my story.  
  
Chapter 4: Oh Where Oh Where Is Drunk Sano Here?  
  
The class just continued on with somewhat of a strange normalcy having leaving Hiei to his own devices in a little corner playing finger puppets with his fingers and whispering to himself.  
  
"No Zorgon I will defeat you!" whispered "Dodoowa" the finger.  
  
"You are nothing but a mutant hamster, that you are," shot back "Zorgon" the finger.  
  
"No." "Yes."  
  
"No."  
  
"Yes."  
  
This idiotic argument between the two fingers went on for another five minutes until the teacher finally noticed what Hiei was doing.  
  
"What in the world are you doing?" asked the teacher.  
  
"The finger 'Zorgon' was trying to take over 'Dodoowa' the finger's land and so they get went to war."  
  
"Your fingers are at war?"  
  
"Yes and---  
  
Hiei was cut short once again when a singing was heard in the hallway.  
  
"Ol' Mac Donnell had a farm! Yu-Gi-Oh! And on his farm he had a pig! Yu-Gi- Oh! With an oink oink here and an oink oink there, here an oink there an oink everywhere an oink oink! Ol' Mac Donnell had a farm and watched Yu-Gi- Oh!" sang a very drunk Sanosuke Sagara.  
  
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE SANOSUKE??!?!" screamed the teacher, "AND WHAT IS THAT SMELL?!"  
  
"BUCCA BUCCA QUOT SUNT HIC! IT IS MY ARMPITS THAT STINK!!" shouted Sano. (transl: bucca bucca quot sunt hic: how many fingers do I hold up.)  
  
"He is wackier than me..." realized Hiei, "this cannot possible I am Seto Kaiba, I am undefeatable!"  
  
"I AM THE FRITO BANDITO! YAY!" shouted Sano before running away from a very angry teacher.  
  
"THAT'S RIGHT AND DON'T YOU COME BACK! ..... Now, back to the lesson of learning personal pronouns. We can learn some of them in a song. (A/N: The song was created by my High School Latin teacher and it goes to the Barney song tune.) It goes like this:  
  
'Ego te amo, tu me amas,  
  
Nos familia laeta sumus.  
  
Cum complexu magna ingente.  
  
Et a(b) me tibi ascultatione.'"  
  
The entire class just stared at the teacher as she had just danced to the "I love you" tune in Latin.  
  
"IF I WAS AN BUNNY I WOULD HOP HOP HOP! IF I WAS A HAMMER I WOULD STOMP STOMP STOMP!" said a voice.  
  
"STOP HIEI!" shouted the teacher.  
  
"IT WASN'T ME!" shot back Hiei.  
  
"WHO WAS IT?!"  
  
"I'M A LITTLE DRUNK PUNK IN A TREE! LOOKING AT YOUR FACES AND SCREAMING WHEE!" No, it wasn't Sano, it was the ferocious, and also drunk, chibi Saito!  
  
Chibi Saito came bouncing down the hallway and into the classroom and landed on the teacher's head.  
  
"SALVE MEA BONA PICES!" (transl: Hello my good fish!)  
  
"GET OFF MY HEAD SAITO!"  
  
"OH WHERE OH WHERE IS DRUNK SANO HERE? OH WHERE OH WHERE CAN HE BE, I RAN AROUND THE SCHOOL AND UP IN MY NOSE, OH WHERE OH WHERE CAN HE BE?!"  
  
"This guy is also wackier than me, I cannot let this happen..." thought Hiei.  
  
"AND BESIDES, I AM NOT SAITO, I AM ZORGON!"  
  
"YOU ARE ZORGON?!" shouted Hiei, "YOU MUST DIE OR MY NAME IS NOT DODOOWA, LEADER OF LA CUCARATCHA!"  
  
"YOU ARE DODOOWA? I HAVE HEARD OF YOU FROM PUGNAX! NOW YOU MUST FEEL THE WRATH OF THE ZORGON EMPIRE!"  
  
"NO!!! THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN!"  
  
"STUPID MACHINE!!" was a cry from the other end the hallway.  
  
Who is this mysterious person and will Hiei get revenge on Chibi Hiei? Read on and don't forget to review!  
  
Sano: I'm finally here! (skips away happily)  
  
Me: Hiiiiii! How are you all??? Yusuke is WAIT?!! YUSUKE WHERE ARE YOU?!  
  
Hiei: He went off to find Keiko.  
  
Me: Bum. Hey!! Maybe I can get Kurama to be my co-host!  
  
Hiei: Nope, he's a little tied up for now.  
  
Me: Freezed Dried Apple Trees. Anyway I know who can be my co-host. Actually I know two people who would be perfect. Come back next time! 


	5. Sano, Chibi Saito and the Vending Machin...

Hiei Learns Latin  
  
Me: Hi my friends! One thing that should be changed from the last chapter is that the Chibi is Saito, not Hiei. I would also like you to meet my co- hosts Jojo and Tom Thumb!  
  
Jojo: How did I get conned into this?  
  
Me: Because I forced you to.  
  
Tom Thumb: You are evil.  
  
Me: Not really, I'm only part youkai.  
  
Tom Thumb: This is going to be a long chapter.  
  
Me: Don't worry.  
  
Jojo: I'm scared about this.  
  
Me: Will you two just shut up? You know the disclaimer enjoy.  
  


* * *

  
Chapter 5: Sano, Chibi Saito and the Vending Machine  
  
"STUPID MACHINE!" shouted someone from down the hallway.  
  
"HE NEEDS ME!" shouted chibi Saito bouncing off of the teacher's head and off into the hallway.  
  
"This is insane," said the teacher, "why is it so hard to teach Latin?"  
  
"I AM GENGHIZ KHAN!!" shouted Hiei jumping onto his desk and running out the door.  
  
"Maybe I can teach my class now...."  
  
"ZORGON?! WHY YOU RUN FROM BATTLE WITH GENGHIZ KHAN?!" yelled Hiei.  
  
"I THOUGHT YOU WERE DODOOWA?!" shouted Saito.  
  
"AND YOU BELIEVED ME TURTLE?!?!"  
  
"I HAVE BEEN CONQUERED! BUT YOU WILL NEVER DEFEAT THE EVIL MACHINE THAT DEPOSITS LITTLE CANS OF LIQUID!"  
  
"IT BURNS!!!" shouted Sano looking into the bright light of the vending machine.  
  
The three 'men' stood in front of the machine and stared at it for about five minutes until someone came over and bought a soda.  
  
"THAT PERSON! HE CONQUER MACHINE! HE DO WHAT GENGHIZ KHAN COULD NOT! HE OUR LEADER!" shouted Hiei leading the three guys after the person who had bought the soda.  
  
"WHA?!?!" Those were his last words as Hiei, Sano and Saito collided with him and knocked him down. They grabbed the soda and drank it. They were more sugar high than ever.  
  
"I AM A HAPPY LIL' BUNNY!!!!" shouted Hiei skipping back to the class.  
  
"I AM A POWERPUFF GIRL!!" shouted Sano running back to the machine as well.  
  
"OOPS I DID IT AGAIN!!" screamed chibi Saito bouncing back to the machine.  
  
"What are they doing?" wondered the teacher terrified to go see what was happening. However, as she was opening up the door, in ran Hiei.  
  
"HEREEEEE'S JOHNNY!!!" shouted Hiei as he went back into the classroom,   
  


* * *

  
"WHAT DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD DO BRITTNEY?" asked Sano.  
  
"SEEK AND DESTROY BUBBLES!" said chibi Saito ('Brittney').  
  
"YOU ARE A FORMIDABLE ENEMY, THAT YOU ARE!"  
  
Sano ('Bubbles') ran into the vending machine and it exploded. Soda cans flew all over the place.  
  
"YOU BEST NOT BE TRIPPIN'!" shouted chibi Saito. Sano picked up Saito, put him onto his shoulder and ran back into the classroom.  
  
" I am the little cat that haunts your dreams and my associate would like to give you a message," said Sano.  
  
(in the tune of 'I'm a little teapot') "I'M A LITTLE DRUNK PUNK IN A TREE, LOOKING AT YOUR FACES AND SCREAMING WHEE! WHEN YOU SEND THE LADDER TO COME GET ME, I WON'T COME DOWN, I'LL JUST SCREAM WHEE!  
  
WHEN I START THROWING APPLES AT YOUR FACE, YOU'RE GONNA TRY TO SHOOT ME TO SPACE! I'M A LITTLE DRUNK PUNK IN A TREE! JUMPING ON THE BRANCHES AS HARD AS CAN BE! SINGING THIS ANNOYING SONG AS HARD AS I CAN AND YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING BECAUSE.... I'M A LITTLE DRUNK PUNK IN A TREE! WHEE!!!" sang Saito bouncing up and down on Sano's shoulder.  
  
"I must not be defeated. I must be the wackiest person to ever enter this stupid institution!" swore Hiei. He stood up and walked over to Sano and Chibi Saito, looked them straight in the eye and said, " I FEEL PRETTY! OH SO PRETTY! I FEEL WITTY AND PRETTY AND GAY!" (A/N: I do not own West Side Story.)  
  
"ARE YOU TRYING TO DEFEAT ME?! I AM BRITTNEY SPEARS!! I CAN LIKE SO NOT BE DEFEATED!" shouted chibi Saito.  
  
"I AM GLADIATORRRRRRR!!" shouted Hiei pulling out his katana, "YOU WILL NOT PREVAIL BECAUSE... BECAUSE..."  
  
"BECAUSE WHY?!" squealed Saito still bouncing up and down and Sano's shoulder.  
  
"BECAUSE... BECAUSE I SAID SO! SO GIVE ME MY MUFFIN BACK OR I WILL CRY!"  
  
"I DON'T HAVE IT!"  
  
"GIVE IT BACK BECAUSE I AM J-LO!! ... UNLESS YOU WANT TO HEAR MY WRATH?!"  
  
"WHAT'S YOUR WRATH?"  
  
"I'M A LITTLE MUSHCAKE IN A PIE! IF YOU TRY AND EAT ME I WILL CRY!"  
  
"NOOOOO! THAT IS HORRIBLE, DON'T YOU THINK SO MY FELLOW HAM-HAM?" asked Saito to Sano.  
  
"I AGREE, WE MUST LEAVE BEFORE OUR SUNFLOWER SEEDS ARE TAKEN HAMTARO!" said Sano running out of the classroom and out the door with Saito on his shoulder.  
  
"HA! I AM VICTORIOUS AND I CLAIM THIS CLASSROOM IN THE NAME OF SCOTTYWOTTYDOODOO!" shouted Hiei picking up the flag in the classroom and throwing it across the room.  
  
"WILL YOU JUST BE QUUUUUIIIIIIIIIEEEEETTTTTT?!?!" shouted the teacher, "I WILL KICK YOU OUT OF THIS CLASSROOM IF YOU DO NOT SHUTUP!"  
  
"Why you keep saying bad word word?" asked Hiei, "you don't need to yell. We are one big happy family, after all."  
  
"YOU ARE THE MOST OBNOXOUS PERSON IN THE WORLD!"  
  
"I AM VICTORIOUS?"  
  
"YES!"  
  
"VENI VIDI VICI!"  
  
Me: Is this the end? Nope! One more chappy to go!  
  
Jojo: Do we have to come back for the next chapter?  
  
Me: Yes!  
  
Tom Thumb: At least it is not a Sailor Moon fanfic.  
  
Jojo: Thank God.  
  
Me: I wonder if you can find the Doom Tree Flute music on the internet?  
  
Jojo: Why would you want to know?  
  
Me: I still know some flute notes.  
  
Jojo: Help...  
  
Me: See Tom Thumb is quiet, why can't you?  
  
Jojo: Because he ran away.  
  
Me: I hate you.... Come back for the next chapter. 


	6. What DID you Learn Hiei?

Hiei Learns Latin  
  
Me: Welcome! Boys and girls! I can proudly say that Jojo is still here!  
  
Jojo (gagged up): Ump...he..e..lp  
  
Me: My old sidekick has also came back! KYO  
  


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Kyo: She made me come!  
  
Me: You wanted to come! I love you soooo much.  
  
Kyo: You're worse than Kagura.  
  
Me: Shut it my love!  
  
Jojo: Maybe this is my chance (hopping around on the chair)  
  
Me: No you don't! (grabbing him)  
  
Jojo: Tom Thumb! Anyone!?!  
  
Me: While I hold these two here and look for that hot blue angel from Angelic Layer, read my story most kindly. I don't own anything, I only own the Bunny Kingdom, Adu Lineage, and anything that does not pertain to anything intelligent. Please review!  
  
Chapter 6: What DID you learn Hiei?  
  
"HIEI! ALL RIGHT ALREADY! YOU ARE PROCLAIMED AS THE MOST OBNOXIOUS PERSON TO HAVE ENTER— WAIT!!! DID YOU JUST SAY SOMETHING IN LATIN?!?!" said the teacher surprised.  
  
"Oui senorita!" replied Hiei.  
  
"THIS ISN'T FRENCH OR SPANISH!"  
  
"Salve mea bona pisces!" (see Chapter 4)  
  
"Now you're speaking Latin!"  
  
"Yes my darling fishcake!" (A/N: fishcake is actually a term my friend came up with)  
  
"SPEAK LATIN!"  
  
"Call me Genghiz Khan!"  
  
"JUST SPEAK LATIN JAGANASHIHIEIPROSPEROKIKITHEDELIVERYGIRLGENGHIZKHAN!"  
  
"YAY! YOU SAY ALL MY NAME! BUCCA BUCCA QUOT SUNT hic...."  
  
Suddenly the unexpected happened. Hiei suddenly became less energized and sat in his chair quietly.  
  
"Hiei? Hiei?" asked the teacher.  
  
"What do you want?"  
  
"Are you okay?"  
  
"What does it look like?"  
  
"Can you speak some Latin?"  
  
"Are you trying to tell ME what to do?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"Are you still sugar high?"  
  
"Sugar...high?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"What have I been doing?"  
  
"Well...." Started Staphie and the rest of the class starting to rattle off things Hiei had done.  
  
"I'm leaving..."  
  
"You can't!"  
  
"Don't make me kill you...."  
  
"But..."  
  
"DIE!!!!" Hiei ran towards the teacher with his katana ready about to slash her....  
  
"HIEI!?!?! WHAT DA HECK ARE YOU DOING?!?!" It was Kurama grabbing Hiei from behind. Hiei was squirming around trying to get free.  
  
"LET ME GO!!"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"YES!"  
  
"WILL YOU WACKOS JUST LEAVE THIS SCHOOL! WITH ALL THE WACKINESS THAT HAS BEEN GOING ON TODAY, I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF IT FOR 77 MORE YEARS!" shouted the teacher.  
  
"Are you calling me a wacko?" asked Kurama.  
  
"Uh...."  
  
"I might not look like much, but I can seek vengeance just like Hiei."  
  
"Uh oh...."  
  
"No one calls me a wacko without pay..." Kurama took out candy, a piece for himself and for Hiei.  
  
"Ready to go Kiki?" Kurama asked Hiei.  
  
"Yes Jiji!" replied Hiei.  
  
They ran over to the teacher, pulled some rope out of Kurama's hair and dragged her to a closet where they gagged her up. They locked the door and skipped out the door (No yaoi implied).  
  
"So what did you learn Hiei?" asked Kurama.  
  
"BUCCA BUCCA QUOT SUNT HIC! IT IS MY ARMPITS THAT STINK!" answered Hiei happily imitating the drunk Sano.  
  
Kurama sweat dropped, "I guess I did get my money's worth.."  
  
"Yes Commander Putt Putt!"  
  
"You can show off your intelligence to Kuwabara and Yusuke."  
  
"Madame Fortress Mommy (Yusuke) and Sailor Moon (Kuwabara)?"  
  
"Yep!"  
  
"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEE. EGO BONA PISCES!" (transl: I am a good fish!)  
  
Me: I'm finished!  
  
Kyo: Is this the end of out torture?  
  
Me: No! And as punishment for whining, you will have to have a live octopus in your pants!  
  
Kyo: WHERE DA HECK DID YOU COME UP WITH SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!  
  
Me: Angelic Layer.  
  
Jojo: This is evil.  
  
Me: Do you want to eat spaghetti through your nose?  
  
Jojo: Is this also from Angelic Layer?  
  
Me: Good Job! Now you only have to wear clothespins on your face!  
  
Jojo: Help...  
  
Hiei: Thank you this torture is over!  
  
Me: Shut it Kiki unless you want me to feed you to Jiji.  
  
Fangirl: How dare you do those things to Hiei!  
  
Me: You survived?  
  
Fangirl: Yep! And I am the Sole Survivor  
  
Me: I thought Hiei had cut you guys with his katana.  
  
Fangirl: No, he just stuffed me with muffins.  
  
Me: Hiei?!  
  
Hiei: I am the Muffin Man!  
  
Me: I guess this is a good time to end this idiocy. ALL RIGHT! EVERYONE OUT!  
  
Everyone: YAY  
  


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Me: Don't give me enough time to change my mind!  
  
They leave.  
  
Me: I guess normalcy really has come back. Anyway thanks for reading and PLEASE REVIEW!!! Thank you so much to any reviewers! 


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